new goals, new me

I swear I am still alive.

I just took a little blog vacay.

I hope this doesn't sound strange but I kind of missed just being on the outside...not worrying about posting or thinking up a new topic or responding to emails. I missed just reading other blogs and commenting and really catching up on all the strangers I like a lot :) So that is what I did. So really I was right here all along, just not writing.

I need to rewatch the OC right now.

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I have said it 92 times without any details but the hubs and I are in a major transition and it kinds sucks that I can't tell all of blog land what is up (this might be why it is hard for me to write lately) but we just can't announce everything yet. It stinks.

But a week or so ago I was telling y'all about how sad changes make me and how I wasn't dealing so well but guess what??? I got my head together & I don't feel like a crazy hormonal beotch anymore.

We are basically moved out of our house, we have a little get-a-way this weekend planned and things are just running smoothly for once SO I feel like me again!!! What a relief!

I think I just had to get through the yucky parts of this move etc. to get to the other side.

SPEAKING OF, I am really excited about the other side actually. With Jacob going back to school and accomplishing something pretty awesome for himself, it has got me really thinking about how I can make goals and change too. I have been thinking about what this looks like and to be honest I am not sure yet...YOU will be the first to know... but I love that new, everything-is-at-your-finger-tips feeling.

This is totally going to sound out of left field but stick with me...For the last few years when August rolled around (I know it is not August, it is April- hang in there) being in my beloved Target made me a little sad.

(There has never been a truer statement. )

I almost can't go.
That is a complete lie.
I absolutely still go but I just get a little sad.

Why you ask?? Well all the cool new dorm room stuff is out on display in August, like everywhere!!!!!! You know what I am talking about, right? Well I just love that stuff. All the bright, cool, new gadgets that make living in a dorm (i.e. bedroom) totally doable. Well why in the hell would this make me sad, you ask?

I don't know if it was like this for you, but that summer before I went off to college was the most magical time. I could be whoever I wanted to be. The world was all brand new and I could accomplish anything I wanted. No strings attached. No boundaries. You only get that feeling so many times in your life. So I don't get really upset or anything, but it pulls at my heart strings walking past all the shrieking 18 year old girls picking out XL twin bedding. I just become very aware that that time has past for me.

I kind of thought that I would never feel those feelings again but suddenly I do : ) I may not be the one going back to school and we sure aren't moving into a dorm room and hitting up frat parties (unless Jake is hiding this part) but I feel like we get to start all over again fresh and that is such a cool thing.

So anyways the funk I was in is gone. I am super excited for our new life and I can't wait to tell you all about it.

On a completely different note, this weekend I am running the Door County Half Marathon!!! with my Daddy-o : )

This race was my first half last year so it is kind of a special anniversary. Anyone else racing this weekend??? I saw so many awesome posts about the races last weekend. I am totally adding the Nashville Rock n Roll Marathon to my list. After reading so many awesome recaps, it is a no-brainer!

writer's block and feeling down

hi love bugs.

just popping in with nothing really to say besides I have opened a new blog post page every day this week and watched the cursor blink till I face palmed and closed the open window.

to be honest I am struggling lately with everything not just the blog. big changes bring out a not so great me. once this roller coaster is over I can't wait to be a better friend, wife, daughter, runner and blogger.

I sound so dramatic but I was thinking about how people say that the kind of person you are during trials and tribulations really says a lot. well come to find out I need to work on that person a whole lot more. to be honest we aren't even facing any trials or tribulations, mostly it is just handling stress that is not my best skill.

this weekend we are packing our house up. first weekend of many, but I am hoping to make a huge dent. I am also hoping that it helps me feel better about everything. purging crap is always a good feeling. I am excited about being organized again but I think I might be more OCD moving this time around than ever before.
I didn't think it was possible.
unfortunately it is. god help my husband.
andddd at some point you gotta just throw shit in a box and get over it.

we are moving in with family for the time being. more to come on all of that.
has anyone had to live with family for awhile? after owning their own house??? and being married??? it will be quite an adventure. I feel so lucky we have such great people in our lives who will welcome us with open arms but I think the sadness of the life we currently live and what we will face in the next three years (if you missed it, Jake is going to law school in the fall) is starting to set in. I guess it isn't sadness really. It is more me just not coping with change very well. The silliest part is that I have known this was coming forever but now that it is really here things feel out of control...? CAN YOU TELL I HAVEN'T RAN YET TODAY???

Anyways before this post gets anymore depressing I am going to just stop. Someone send me some reeses eggs. That would for sure turn my mood around. I tend to cope better with peanut butter... but that is a different story for a different post.

I hope you guys have a beautiful weekend, full of chocolate, running, spring weather and FAMILY!


XOXO

FIVE on Friday

{ONE}

It is no secret that I am totally a pinterest whore. That site is my mistress and I don't care.

I won't claim that my boards or anything are extraordinary but my life has been more fulfilled because of that little site.
I am more put together.
I take risks in the kitchen.
My bestie and I send one another 100s of pins a day to make each other laugh,
and basically it makes life more fun. 

SO, let me tell you what happened last night. 

Usually I depend on this site to tell me how I should put my outfits together 99.5 percent of the time. I buy something unlike me (i.e. mint jeans) and I ask the wise pinterest to tell me what to put on with my mint jeans. I think this is common?

Well I bought this skirt awhile ago... (Before the vacation I haven't even blogged about yet ---remember the 2 week cruise vacation I said I went on???? Ya, I know. Y' all probably think I was lying. This sounds incredibly stupid but it is painful to look back on it. Not because it was horrible but because it was too good to be true. I have weird emotional issues obviously because I haven't even looked at the disk of pictures yet! Is anyone else this weird??? Probably not.)

Ok so anyways I bought this skirt. It has been cold as hell and now I found the perfect occasion to wear it. My beautiful friend's bachelorette party.
Yep.
Tomorrow I am going to be bouncing around town with a group of loud girls & people will be pointing because that is what happens when you see a gaggle of bachelorette party girls and it will be awesome. 

So anyways I pulled this skirt out (how is this still number one of five??? gawd) & decided a denim shirt would be perfect, and black booties plus an organgie (that is a word in fashion, I am sure of it) gold necklace. I stepped back & felt so proud that I put together the whole thing without looking at my ipad once.

This morning, because I have no confidence in myself, I searched lace skirt on pinterest and these outfits came up!!! So basically pinterest confirmed I am a fashionista and now I am feeling really great about myself. 

I don't think I have ever told a more pointless story but I typed all of it so I am not deleting it. If nothing else you know I will be at a bachelorette party this weekend and wearing a new outfit. boom. 

you are welcome.

{TWO}

Since we are talking about bachelorette parties, I should segue to booze ---Obviously my second favorite thing to write about after running--- 

Where has the Bloody Mary been my whole life??? Why did I ever deny myself one before??? If you love them and have any great recipes or recommend any mixes PLEASE leave it in the comments. I am still rather new to this beverage. The spicier the better :) Also now that I have been drinking them more I wanted to see how unhealthy they are for you. Well low and behold, SUPER healthy! especially for runners! 

"Research shows a daily glass of tomato juice lowers a person’s primary marker for inflammation by nearly a third." (SOURCE)

It also says something about relieving stress (the juice that is, but the vodka I am sure helps) plus a million other awesome things so drink up! 

3, 4,  & 5 are things I needed to see & hear this week, maybe some of you need it too...enjoy! 

{THREE}

{FOUR} 

{FIVE}

HAPPY WEEKEND Pretty People !!!

a little faith on a wednesday

just in case you were wondering where they heck I have been, let me tell you...

I have been drowning under 32 pounds of silly stress, with a side of bad eating and a lot of running. 

I know that sentence doesn't make any sense what-so-ever but basically moving, law school, life plans and anything related has been in full swing these last two weeks and I have been a little moody what's new? 

One day I am smiling and happy and can't believe our plans/dreams are in motion and then the next day I am standing in my mom's kitchen balling my eyes out because being a grown up is hard and I don't really love making huge decisions.

Anyone feel like handing me a blanket and a box of crayons with a juice box? No... that's ridiculous. I'm no baby.

How about a three hour marathon of Saved by the Bell and Doritos? I am more like circa 1993.

Okay well you get my drift. I am stressed. 

On top of it, I have been eating when I am not hungry and pretty much losing all sense of nutrition, especially this last weekend. We were at my in laws and it included me indulging in everything I wanted. We did a wine tasting on Saturday, which you would think would be the answer to my stressful prayers, but I conquered a plate of cheese in the process. A PLATE people. of cheese. It was more like a mountain of cheese, if we are telling the truth. 

Okay whatever. Again you get it. I need to move on and get it together because eating well makes me deal with life better and in turn makes me run better... so there isn't anything more to say. 

THE only good thing that has come from this whirl wind of crazy lately is that in  the last 6 days I have ran 35 miles. I know that isn't a lot for some people but that is a lot for me. Especially because I am just coming back from a winter as a hermit. 

They have been some of the slowest miles of my life, due to my lack of good nutrition and sleep, but they have been there for me and some miles were even warm. 

I know the running bug doesn't hit home with everyone but I honestly have no clue how I lived without it for so long. It is like everything else can go wrong and be out of my control but if I make the smart decision to just run it out, fast or slow, happy or sad, I find a little voice in my head that tells me everything is going to be okay. 

On Sunday I ran a pretty great eight miles out on the country roads behind my in laws house. My in laws really value their faith and they were headed to church Sunday morning when I left for my run. The first mile or so I felt a little guilty that my husband and I opted to run instead of church. I know it isn't the same for everyone and you may not have the same opinion, but I realized as I was running that running is my time with God. It is my time to be quiet and heal. To talk and cry and to be present while admiring all the beautiful things he created. I reflect on my relationships, my attitudes, words I have said and often I ask for forgiveness. I didn't realize until just this weekend how much I grow in my faith while my legs are moving. 

It may not make up for not attending church to some but for me it is what works. Its also nice to know that I have formed a habit. A habit to not only turn to running when I am stressed but also to turn to my faith, I just didn't realize it till now :)

my first half of 2014

Well folks it wasn't pretty but I got errr done.

On Saturday morning my boy-side-kick (ya I know lame/gross...I am running out of names for Jacob) & I drove up to Green Bay, WI to run in the Dick Lytie Spring Classic.

I mentioned this before but the race cost the same for everyone so I just couldn't sign up for the 9 miler or 5K. The half was basically a deal, people! and if you put a deal in front of me, I just have to take it (This is my mom's fault BTW. She turned me into the shopping monster I am. Hi MOM!) Anyways this was really silly because I don't think I was ready just yet for my first half this year but I did it anyways. I figured I could tell myself to take it easy and just get the miles in. What I didn't think would happen, or I guess I just haven't experienced really yet (at least not on a race day) is that my mind was great! I felt good. MY BODY though thought...

"Helllllllllll no. 9 miles is your limit girl and you need to stop running. Right. This. Second."

Ya I hit mile nine and my hips and my knees and my hammies decided to hate me.

I pushed through though and thankfully I turned the corner at 12.5 miles and Jake ran the last bit with me. He did this at my last half too and it is pretty awesome. I think if there ever comes a time he is MIA, I am going to HAVE to recruit someone else to be there.

This course was hilly & I mean it. Like might-as-well-walk hilly. After the first hill, I heard some buzz that they just get worse. I pretty much choked on my GU. "HOW COULD THEY GET WORSE!"

I have said this before but it would maybeee be helpful to actually LOOK at a course before your run it. Check this out!

I was not kidding about the elevation...might-as-well-walk-hilly! Right?

Sometimes I think I don't look at the course map because half of the reason I love running in new races is that everything is unknown. It is usually a route I have never taken before and that is exciting to me. Also I have to do it. It isn't like I can look at the map and think "hmmm...I think I can avoid that  hill by taking this side road?!" I mean I guess I could but you get my point. It helps some people to look at it and plan & for others it is a way to psych yourself out. Just my thought.

Well anyways here is how I finished. 2:05:57.

There were only 206 people in the half so out of everyone, not amazing, but hell I did it. Also this is my first half that I finished over 2 hours. Which is still a very good time but if I am being honest, it was kind of hard to accept and that's okay. I am glad I took my time at the end and it takes the pressure off to always PR now.

A 2 hour half is amazing and not every race needs to be speedy. I really like the idea of running forever so I think my brain needs to cool it on killing myself over pace and straining myself. I have to remember my bigger goals andddd just in case you were dying to know...

I want to PR the Door County half in May (My first repeat half marathon) and finish my first FULL marathon in November healthy, happy, and with a smile on my face.

Any one else??? running goals?!?! Spill 'em :)