a holiday rut

So I just wrote a post TWICE and accidentally deleted it BOTH times.

Honestly it isn't surprising. Work today has been beyond difficult and I think if one more tab was open on my computer it would explode. I have been slammed with emails and excel files. My phone has been ringing off the hook and I am so frustrated that no one else got the memo that this week is a holiday. I don’t talk a lot about my job on here and I probably won’t but when it is challenging, boy! is it challenging. This is just one of those days I can feel the tears welling up for no real good reason kind of day.

…So as you can imagine, it was probably fate that my original post disappeared. It was full of very “unthankful” thoughts.

I think the real cause to my inability to deal with today’s stress comes down to a lack of “me” time this weekend.

This getting dark early thing, plus work kicking my ass, on top of it being veryyyy cold is just really not helping me make good choices. I simply am not taking good care of myself and it sucks.

It will pass and I need to just invest more time in finding what is going to work for me during these winter months but here’s the deal.  I took this weekend off. Not entirely on purpose mostly because I felt lazy. I didn’t go to the gym or run. I think it has been months since I haven’t ran on a Saturday.

I did clean my house top to bottom. Jacob and I decorated for Christmas. I probably drank two bottles of wine myself & we saw a movie. Everything was really fun but I made excuses. I could have fit in a short run or have thrown a yoga DVD in. Excuses bite you in the ass if you didn’t know.

Catching Fire

tree!

As much as we need weekends off, I really want to note that after those weekends are over you don’t always feel the best. Taking care of yourself is different for everyone. It takes some trial and error & I think I know now that taking a number of days off in a row is not good for my mind.

I didn’t have to go hard this weekend but just fitting some time in to sweat a little would probably have made a huge difference today. I feel like I can’t even deal with the littlest things; i.e. snow, snow on my car, driving in the snow, shoveling the snow, walking in the snow, snow (catch my drift???).

So lesson learned, I could have used two miles on the treadmill and maybe one less glass of wine. No use beating myself up today…It’s just worth it to share that it’s important to reflect on what works for you & maybe why you don’t feel your best or want to scream at someone who doesn't deserve it.

This is as much a reminder for you as it is for myself.

With the holidays coming up we really start to put others first, and although that is completely the point of the season, try not to forget what you need to be the best you : )

I am going to get my run on now. See you tomorrow with a new attitude : )