All I know is I connect best with bloggers that I feel open up their lives to the world & although I am not sure that will be me, I want to do the best I can. I guess I just feel like we started dating & I am not sure I remember how :)
So whether you care or not, I decided today I would share a glimpse into the past. Explain a little more about a younger version of me, and while I am at it, what could be more appropriate than telling you how Jacob and I started dating?
So after graduating high school, I thought I had it all figured out.
I had decided to move away for college and I honestly thought that I was ready for it. I was absolutely sure it was going to be an amazing experience. All I remember saying was that I wanted to get away from everything I knew.
I would be lying if I didn’t say a big part of that was my parents. I was an only child and although they had given me the best life, I just wanted to be on my own. Chalk it up to the “only child” independence thing…I don’t know. I was really stubborn and certain I didn’t need them. Dramatic and mean, yes. Do I feel bad now looking back, absolutely.
Well I was horribly wrong. My freshmen year I was completely unhealthy. I went from one extreme to another and it wasn’t just physically, it was mentally too. I was over confident on how “adult” I thought I was and made bad decisions left and right. I absolutely did not have my priorities straight and overall I was really lost. I was failing school. I was messing up friendships. I was unkind to my parents & worst yet, I was blaming everything that was wrong on everyone else.
What do you think I did next? …I threw myself into a serious relationship. Duh?! Because ya know that makes sense <eye roll> ....making someone else responsible for putting you back together is a great idea, right?!
FALSE. It was the worst choice. I don’t regret it at all now because I learned a lot, but I made a terrible mess of that relationship. However, it eventually pushed me to look at myself. In the mirror. Head on.
That is tough stuff and I admire anyone who says they had to do that in their life. We all get lost for a while, just hopefully not for too long.
Well at the end of that relationship I was 19 and I took a job during the summer at a restaurant before I transferred schools, closer to home.
Enter Jacob. We had gone to middle school together and as I was interviewing for my position I saw him walk behind the bar. My first reaction was to run in the other direction. All I wanted was to get through the summer and go to my new school. I had zero interest in seeing anyone from high school, let alone middle school.
Well after a few weeks working together, we became friends.
When someone told me he liked me, I knew. But a part of me also knew and Jake will deny this until he is blue in the face that he liked every girl he became friends with.
It also didn’t help that the kid had long hair... that I hated!!!
|Example :) He looks like a baby.|
But mostly I just knew I couldn’t handle anything with someone and I needed a friend more than a boyfriend (at least I was learning something).
Anyways the summer ended and we stayed friends. We talked on and off and one weekend three years later things turned around. He came to visit me in Milwaukee with short hair :) and the instant I saw him something clicked. It wasn’t so much clicking as butterflies. I knew I was straight up in trouble. When he left after that weekend I couldn’t even go back to my apartment. I went straight to my parent’s house and told them that I think Jacob is it. I still remember that morning so clearly. It felt like my life was beginning.
It wasn’t just because of Jacob though. I was succeeding at school. I found a job I was good at. I got my health in check, for the most part. I liked who I was and the friends I made. I owned my own apartment and went home every day to a girl I liked, me.
|This is the first picture of us as a couple.|
Silly boys. He must not have known I would have a blog one day
and need good pictures to document our life.
This might not be the most profound blog post, with the most obvious point, but there are two things very important things I know
1. If you love yourself, if you truly 100 percent love yourself, you know it. You can only lie to yourself for so long & in turn you can only open your heart completely to someone else until you tell yourself the truth. I wasn’t ready for Jacob when I was 19 and he wasn’t ready for me. However 22 was a different story. I am so happy I put the time in and did the work on me because my reward was pretty amazing.
2. Fall in love with your best friend. Pretty simple. You will never regret it.