Tomorrow I turn 26.
Yep its my BIRfffDAY!!!
I am officially on the back end of my 20s. That feels weird.
I wanted to share that I feel sad that I have lost my habit of coming here everyday and I hope you will stick with me.
I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 26. You can read them here. I didn't do a great job. I mentioned that here.
We have had a busy couple of weeks. Busier than the holidays have been, but I am ready to get back on the wagon in all aspects of my life & that includes coming here daily and doing a better job of planning my posts. I really enjoy being a part of this little world.
So this brings me to my next point. I have some new thoughts for this year. I want to actually really accomplish some changing & since the new year has been veryyy very busy and it is already the 10th I figure I will just start my new year tomorrow. A fresh age.
Instead of numbering these things I am going to categorize them. I am sick of numbers!!!
I don't want to be unrealistic here (because everyone has bad days, I am bound to have bad days) but there are some simple things I know I can do to make me a happier person.
First, I want to take a new outlook on my job. I want it to stop affecting me so much and dictating how I feel about other parts of my life. I work with great people and I really enjoy parts of my job but it is just a job. It isn't my life. I work hard and I KNOW I try my best and as with everything else it is all I can do. I need to find a switch this year. When I leave the office I want to "leave".
Secondly, I need to sit down and shut up SOMETIMES :) I need to stop trying to control, plan and figure everything out. I won't even say be present in the current day...that might be even too hard for me! I need to be present in the current week.
As I have gotten older I feel like the days are just flying by. Recently that has really weighed on me. Probably because I wish half my weeks away planning some other month or figuring out our life plan because of Jacob's choice to go to law school. Everything always works its way out & it will, so I need to just let life be.
Run as much as possible and never take a single day over the temperature of 30 degrees for granted again!!!!!! Anyone with me ??? GEEZ it is 28 degrees today and I am HOTT. You think I am kidding??? I am not.
This year I will record every mile I run. I am excited to see the grand total!
I have started getting the side eye from people (i.e. my family). They think I am a running nut even though this nut isn't running much lately and I get it. To other non runners running is weird. But I am done apologizing to people or justifying it. It makes me a better person. Period. I am not apologizing for that.
I have sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of what to say here. I typed these categories before I filled them in. Being stumped here is kind of sad. I am a little embarrassed.
I guess finding more ways to connect with my feelings and finding more peace with myself is a goal. I want to forgive myself more and I am not sure if that means going to church, or praying at night, or even ditching the ipod on a run to just really connect with my thoughts but I want to figure out what makes me feel more grounded. That's the goal.
I want to rock this year as a wife. I bet Jacob will be shocked but tomorrow morning I am going to ask him to tell me three things he would love if I worked on. He probably will say video games and cooking and video games but if he can be serious with me I am kind of excited to know. Have you ever straight up asked your spouse? How bout your best friend? "What would make me a better friend/wife/sister/daughter?"
I guess its risky. I guess they could hurt your feelings but honestly I already know a lot of my flaws. I think about 'em all the time. I guess I just want to know which ones really bother him. I think that conversation will really stick with me and hopefully I will catch myself more often doing things he doesn't love.
Lastly, I just want to focus on being more present in my relationships and not being too busy for them.
How does all that sound?? DO y'all think more about resolutions/goals in the new year or on your birthdays??